Adventures in Tumblrland

Sit back, ’cause I’m gonna tell you a story about one of my recent online experiences.  Before I start, though, I want to be clear in that I’m not particularly grossed out or annoyed by this – I just think it’s funny as hell.

So I’m sitting on Tumblr (shameless plug – follow me at kaitlyncrow.tumblr.com for a pictorial version of my life) one night, uploading pictures and minding my own business, when I notice a message notification from a blog that I don’t follow.  So, I click on the URL to see who this person is, and it’s a blog of really artistic, carnal, monochromatic porn.  So I’m like thinking it’s just some horny guy and I shouldn’t engage.  I continue with my adventuring.

But I’m one of those people that can’t stand unread notifications. So, naturally, I click on the message.

It’s a woman! She introduces herself as Liz and she’s wondering how I’m doing.  She even accompanies the message with a picture of her face.

So we get to talking about meaningless stuff like the books we’re reading and our hobbies.  She starts slipping in a lot of comments like “you’re gorgeous btw!” and stuff, so I’m starting to think that something is definitely up.  My guard is up but I continue the conversation.  But then she asks me if I’m a student, and I’m like “yes” and then she’s like “great! I’m an accountant and my hubby is an attorney.”  So now I relax, because she’s married, right?

She asks if I’m dating anyone, and I tell her about my boyfriend and she’s like “that’s so cool.” And she starts talking about the adventures her and her husband go on and even sends me pictures of them doing outdoorsy things.  She asks me if my boyfriend and I are adventurous, and I’m like “yeah!” because, I don’t know, it’s kind of lame to say you and your boyfriend don’t go on adventures.

Anyways, then she goes “are you bisexual?”  Since it’s no secret that I am, I’m like “yeah, but the farthest I’ve gone with a girl is making out.”

AND THEN

SHE’S LIKE

“let me change that?”

which is a line I’ve heard from teenage guys when I would tell them I wasn’t seeing anyone but never from a grown ass woman.  Regardless, I’m like, “no, when I’m with someone I’m only with them.”

Now I’m thinking she’ll stop messaging me because I turned her down.

BUT THEN

SHE GOES

“I see. Would your boyfriend ever like to play?”

And I’m like WHAAAAAAAT? Kaitlyn does not like to SHARE. So I told her that. She stopped messaging me soon after.

 

TL;DR – my jealous ass was hilariously propositioned for a threesome by a strange, married woman on the internet

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Endeavors

I finished my freshman year of college on May 9th. I made Dean’s List, which was pretty amazing – nobody who knows what they’re talking about has ever told me that I’m GOOD at school before, so that felt good.

Currently, I’m waiting to hear back on several poetry submissions and one submission of flash fiction.  In the meantime, I’m working on a chapbook of love poems. I’ve never been able to write quality love poems, so this is exciting to me.

Also, I’m still doing school online! I’m currently taking a prerequisite Spanish 102 course and a gen-ed course called Contemporary Social Problems (SOCL 102).  After SOCL 102, I’ll be taking Enviromental Science and the World History: 1500’s – now.  It’s kind of dumb, but these classes get me out of bed in the morning.

Lastly, my family is moving! In 6 days, I’ll have left behind being a resident of Northern Virginia and will begin living in Midlothian.  Pretty cool.

Those are my endeavors.  Here’s a excerpt from a poem I wrote today called “The B Side”

I’m no longer in mint condition

because someone took me out of my box

and played with me,

National Poetry Month DAY TWELVE

Tonight’s poem isn’t a poem at all, but rather a premise for a poem.  I’m starting to get burned out, and the month isn’t even half-way over.  Anyways, another cynical piece on religion.

God has the sinners dance on His fingertips while He smears the hot wax across the skyline.  While the lovers and the lonely alike look on in awe, this, we learn, is Hell.

I might go back into this thought later tonight, but for right now, all I want to do is stare at my ceiling and contemplate my life choices up until this point.  I’m so very tired.  Also, in conclusion, I feel like this thought would do well wedged in the middle of a poem.  Someday.

spoiler alert: my thoughts on Netflix’s ‘Thirteen Reasons Why’

So that ending sucked ass, right?

First of all, I’m so glad that they made the book into a mini-series and not a movie: I feel like it deserved that additional screen time.  I also liked that they took the story line outside of its first-person narrative: I feel like it would have been difficult to really get the story down onscreen without seeing some of the relationships build independently of Clay’s perspective.  I even enjoyed how long it took Clay to get through the tapes, though it was not true to the book, because it gave time for all the back story and drama to build upI also liked how the show was pretty true to high school life.  As someone who graduated less than a year ago, I understood a lot of it.  Sometimes it was blown up to extremes, but it worked.  I mean, I was never invited to, or wanted to go to any high school parties, so I don’t necessarily know the details on how wild they can get.  Anyways, the inclusion of 2017 technology was important to the show and I don’t discredit that.

I liked the way the show did this, but I totally didn’t read Tony as gay, or Ryan, or Courtney (I didn’t like how they blew up Courtney’s story into a full make-out session, either).  And I totally didn’t read Courtney as Asian, or Marcus as black.  I don’t know if that’s just me, though, or if everyone felt that way.  At first, it threw me off, because I pictured the town that the story takes place in as a really white suburban town or whatever, but it didn’t interfere with experiencing the show.

Something I didn’t like was how a lot of the show focuses on this lawsuit the Bakers have against the school.  The lawsuit, if I remember correctly, did not exist in the book at all.  I wanted the show to focus more on the kids and how they dealt with each other.  I also don’t remember reading about this idea that all the other kids on the tapes started teaming up against Clay.  I’m not mad about that, though.  I feel like kids would do that if they were afraid of the world finding out that they were shitty ass people to a girl who killed herself.

This is a small thing, but I did enjoy how many parents there were in this show.  I remember thinking while I was reading the book, “how could all these kids’ parents know nothing about this?” Like, I get that often times parents are clueless (I know mine can be at times), but ALL of them?  Helicopter parents exist in this world, you know.  I think in the book we barely get a glimpse of even Clay’s parents – and he’s the main character.  Also worth noting; Clay’s Dad in the show is kind of a cool dude.  So yeah, the fact that parents got involved was nice.  I especially liked seeing Justin’s family situation – it really played into him protecting Bryce, because Bryce helped him for all that time.

Now onto the gritty stuff.

So, I read this book when I was a suicidal teenager.  I’m watching the show as a recovered college student, post-suicide attempts, post-hospitalizations, post-getting help, even post-sexual assault.  I remember reading the book and totally relating to Hannah, totally on her side all the way through.  Watching the show, I can’t help but kind of be a little bitch about how unlikable her character is.  I don’t know if she was always this way and I’m just now seeing it because I’m in a different place in my life, but – okay, I don’t know how to put this in a way that won’t piss someone off – shit happens to everyone.  I guess I just inadvertently try to unload my own history with suicidal thinking into Hannah Baker, like if I was able to go out and tell someone what was happening to me and get help, why wasn’t she?  I have sympathy for her most of the time, but not all of the time.  I get angry about that, though I’m not sure who or what I’m angry towards.

Let us talk about that unneeded suicide scene, though.  What in the ever loving fuck was that?  In the book, she swallows some pills.  In the show, we get the actual onscreen image of Hannah slitting her wrists in a bathtub.  I’m not squeamish, but because of my history with self-injury, I had to look away.  I wish that scene hadn’t been so much.

Something I did like, though, was the scene where her parents find her.  That was powerful.  I sobbed my fucking eyes out.  I started thinking about what would have happened, had I managed to successfully kill myself in high school; who would’ve found me, what would’ve happened next.  I’m so grateful that something like that never happened.

But fuck the ending of this show.  Seriously.

The book wrapped things up nicely, for me at least.  Clay, having learned from Hannah’s story, went over to talk to Skye, who was hurting (by the way, I totally didn’t read Skye as being as out-there as she was appearance-wise, but I totally dug that) herself.  That happened in the show, sure, but it was so understated – then all this other crazy shit happened as well.  Alex Standall shooting himself? The fuck?  Giving the tapes to Hannah’s parents? Why? I guess that happened because the tapes came out during the depositions in the lawsuit anyways, but, well, we already know my not-so-positive feelings on the whole lawsuit arc.

The only things I truly liked about the ending was the interaction between Justin and Bryce (fuck Bryce and his whole fucking existence, by the way) and Jessica telling her dad what happened to her.  As someone who has been sexually assaulted, I totally felt for her in that moment.

So yeah.  The show was a good watch and a lot of it was very good, but the end was definitely not my favorite thing in the world.  They kind of left it open for a second season with possible arcs for other characters – like Alex Standall being in critical condition, for example, or Hannah’s parents experiencing the tapes, for another.  I really, really hope that doesn’t happen.